COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR CHILD

THE DIFFERENCE BEING SHOUTING AND USING A FIRM VOICE

Many parents often yell at their children because they want their children to listen! But the problem is, yelling does not help kids focus on what their parents want them to do. Instead, of listening, children resort to ‘tuning out’ as a natural defense mechanism. Frequent yelling can trigger symptoms of anxiety in children and can lead to a negative cycle of communication that is difficult to break.

A firm voice on the other hand is more about elevating your voice in a controlled manner, but loud enough to communicate a message.

And if you feel like yelling at child you have been asking four times to clean his/her room, the effective way to communicate is to:

Connect before you communicate the message:
•Go to where your child is rather than talking to him/her from across the room;
•Rather than towering over your child, get to his/her level by squatting, seating next to him/her or kneeling down;
•Engage eye to eye to get your child’s attention
•Open your communication by using all your child’s names (rather than their pet name or first name-this shows them how serious you are)
•Be brief and stay on the topic. That is, only communicate what brought you to your child;
•After conveying the message, ask your child to repeat what you have just said (this helps to know that the message has been ‘received’)