COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR CHILD

ALPHA COMMANDS VS BETA COMMANDS

Although our aim is not to act bossy to our children, sometimes it is necessary to put our feet down in order to make them comply-especially those that do have problems listening to instructions. Yes sometimes we have to COMMAND/ORDER/DIRECT/DEMAND. That is, we have to talk authoritatively.

But how can we do this effectively?

There are two major types of commands:

•Alpha commands; and

•Beta commands.

Alpha commands involve clear, direct, concrete and specific instructions to children without additional verbalizations.

Examples of alpha commands:

•‘James, put your cup away on the count of three!’

•I want you to….

•Stop talking to Jane unless you are discussing today’s assignment’

•It’s time for you to get your work done...

•‘Jane, keep your voice down’.

As well as preventing misunderstanding, alpha commands are associated with higher level of compliance.

In contrast, beta commands are vague, wordy and/or contain multiple directives. They include excess verbalizations from the person issuing the command. As a result, the child receiving the beta command is often confused.

Example of beta command

‘Jimmy sit down right now! Why don’t you behave like your sister? Don’t say anything and look straight ahead! You just won’t be obedient. Come up here and do what I have asked you to do!”

Beta commands are typically used when parents feel frustrated and angry.