'STRANGER DANGER'-TEACHING CHILDREN SAFETY SKILLS

GOOD SECRETS, BAD SECRETS

Good secrets make children feel good, safe, excited, and they have a limit (and expiry date). Bad secrets on the other hand cause children pain, shame, anxiety and they are supposed to be kept for a long time or forever.

When ‘commanded’ to do so, children are bound to hold onto bad secrets because of three things:
They:
•Do not yet understand the difference between good and bad secrets;
•Are not yet emotionally strong enough to resist pressure to keep a bad secret; and
•Have been given mixed messages about secrets from the adults in their life

It is therefore imperative for parents to teach children that:
•Anything that bothers them should never be a secret; and
•No one should ever tell them to keep a ‘special’ secret from their parents.